So I have been terrible about writing blogs over the last few weeks. As a professional writer and marketer who advocates for having several weeks of content written ahead of time, I should probably be hiding and concealing my face instead of broadcasting to the internet that I am really sucking at internetting right now. Instead of doing that, though, I’m going to be 100% honest about why I’ve been in a rut and what I’ve been doing instead of running and blogging.
What I Haven’t Been Doing
Haven’t been Running.
Haven’t run since Reeds Lake 10k. Just haven’t. Do you know how hot it is? I am basically a sweat monster. I’ve been going to the gym to do strength training, but since running inside is my least favorite thing in the universe, I have not been running.
Didn’t go to the gym for 3 weeks.
Thought about it. Then decided I’d rather sit at home with my baby bear and eat nachos, or I’d rather run errands, or I’d rather sit in a kiddie pool drinking a Bell’s Oarsman Ale.
I mean, I work full-time and have several side projects and toddler and an old house, but I was keeping up pretty good for a while there! I had you convinced that I have my shit together (or the PG version: “had my poop in a group”). Now: not so much.
Haven’t Listened to the News.
I know something horrible happened for Bastille Day, but I can’t bring myself to read the accounts. I know Drumpf picked a running mate, but I’m sure learning about the person would just be another irritant (Googled real quick; can confirm that he sounds like a total dirtbag). He was a jerk to a baby? I usually try to stay informed, but I can’t. It just makes me feel worse.
In this vacuum of productivity and energy and fitness, what have I been doing?
I’ve eaten a lot of nachos.
I would draw a graph of how much I can’t even vs. how much nachos I eat, but I am too busy and lazy. So just imagine this: I have been eating a lot of nachos because I don’t care to not eat nachos. On a normal basis, I limit my nacho intake to special occasions because I try to eat healthier foods. Well, the last few weeks have been difficult enough that I don’t care about the quality of what I’ve been eating as much as I care about tastiness and convenience. And hot sauce. Mmmm, hot sauce. I don’t mean this to sound as dire as it does. I just don’t feel like standing up and chopping things and I haven’t felt like it’s worth it to put that much thought and energy into eating well. Which I know is a trap, but it is reality nonetheless.
Sure, having a baby gave me a lot of feels, but I’ve had more feels than usual. Many people in my friend group and family have said the same. There’s been a lot of sadness in our circles and it’s just weighing on everyone. So when I read a sad story or hear about someone passing, I just kinda sit and cry about it for a bit. Then I get up and make nachos and try to get on with things.
I’ve read a lot.
There are a lot of interesting articles out there about spooky stories, awesome coincidences, historical oddities, people whose past you knew nothing about, and more. I’ve been reading them. I’ve read about how Sam Cooke died, learned who Harriet Quimby is, read about 136 creepy articles on Wikipedia, and discovered the amazing website AllDay.com where you can literally blow an entire day reading interesting stories. This is kind of positive, right? It’s something.
I’ve followed the sad stories on Facebook.
I knew I needed to disconnect from Facebook to stop feeling everyone else’s pain, but I haven’t been able to. I’ve had more than one friend share their sadness about loved ones dying, having to put pets down, and dealing with hard times. I have been following their posts and talking with others about similarly sad situations. I hate to keep feeling bad over and over, but it’s important to me to help my friends through hard times, even if it means feeling some of that pain. It’s the plight of being an empathetic person, but I take this emotional job seriously and am happy that I’ve been available to listen and lend a hand where I can.
I’ve focused on what matters.
I’ve been rocking Wally to sleep at night, even if it means that I have less time to do other things. I love his little baby face that is turning into a little boy face. When I can get him to chill out and let me rock him for a bit, he smiles at me while he falls asleep like he used to do when he was a little baby. Now he’s a big baby and his face makes me happy. And then he wakes up and starts incessantly flushing the toilet, hitting, and throwing food on the floor, and I am a little more patient and happy to help him find his place in the universe.
So that’s me being completely honest about basically the entire month of July. It has sucked. It hasn’t sucked as bad as 2015, but it was pretty difficult. Guess what? It’s August! August is the best month to restart and make a change. Hopefully the weather decides to do the same so that I can actually breathe the air and not feel like I am sitting on the surface of the sun. Thanks to everyone who has been available for me, or—even better—been available for people who are actually experiencing hard times. I’ve been in a funk, but I can handle it. Others are dealing with honestly some of the toughest things that can happen to a human. It’s heartbreaking, but the support I’ve seen is also great. Let’s keep that up, and start moving forward however we can.
Up next: Fall race training! I’m so pumped to start training for fall races. I finally feel like I’m getting in gear. Let’s finish the year right.