16 Reasons to Become a Runner in 2016

Has there literally ever been a better or more necessary time to become a runner? I mean, for real, there are so many reasons that today is the perfect day to get moving. You don’t have to run, but here are 16 reasons you should become a runner in 2016!

It’s an election year.

Drumpf for President 3Seriously with this crap? It’s like every political event gets more and more ridiculous, and we get more and more updates about it. I look forward to 2020 when Honey Booboo  and David Duke will run against the entire cast of The Surreal Life season 2, and the whole year will be live tweeted by every 30 seconds by Perez Hilton. No. Shut it down. Time for a run.

Our economy needs a boost.

Woohoo! Unemployment is the lowest it’s been in 10 years. Unfortunately, our local economy has plateaued at the moment. Support Grand Rapids! Start running and buy gear.

You need the vitamin D.

Vitamin D deficiency is relatively common. You can help your body out by eating some yummy healthy foods, and getting out in the sun. You know what’s a good way to sun it up? Run outside! Yay!

You feel like a blob.

hide during election yearSee, the thing about running is that it can kind of make you feel like a blob. I know when I’m not in the habit, and especially when I first started, I felt like the opposite of a gazelle. If you’re feeling like a blob, it can actually be a good thing to start running because sinking into a couch makes you feel more blobby than putting on some flattering activewear and slogging down the street. Trust me.

You or your significant other is pregnant.

Everyone is pregnant! Be careful! But seriously, growing your family (or literally growing a person) is a great reason to get in shape. Running isn’t the only way to be fit, but it’s pretty cheap, not too complex, and you can do it just about anywhere. Be extra careful if you’re pregnant because your joints can get all wacky as hormones loosen your connective tissues and you are more likely to get injured. No matter who you are, you should talk to a doctor about exercise and see what you’re okay to try. Anyway, if you get in the habit of being active now, it will be easier to model that to your tiny clones.

We are not currently in the middle of a polar vortex.

run in the snowRemember the polar vortex? Yeah, I ran through that. It was fun to stay home when my office was closed because of a blizzard, and then to go out running in like 3 feet of snow because I could. But normal people do not like to run when it’s 2 degrees outside. It’s currently 70ish, so you should def start running right meow.

You’re frustrated with trying to buy a house.

For real, Grand Rapids? What is going on?? Houses in our neighborhood are selling for 30% more than they were when we bought 3 years ago, and my sad friends are getting beat out by offers over asking price in cash! Isn’t that bananas? I’d be so frustrated that I’d have to start running like Forrest Gump.

It keeps raining on your day off.

GRR! Maybe you can run the rain away. Or, be really awesome and run in the rain. That’s what cool people do. Hit me up if you need suggestions for a jacket, or go run in the hot rain and smile because you just got a run AND a shower!

It’s too hot to sit under a blanket and eat a whole pumpkin pie.

Omg. It’s so hot. I can’t handle this. Running doesn’t make me any less hot—in fact, it makes me more hot, but if I get used to running when it’s super hot, then running when it is moderate or chilly feels super amazing. Good plan, right!?

You don’t know your neighbors.

I get to know my neighbors by running and walking the sidewalk in our area. I’m less sweaty and awkward when I’m just out walking, but I’m more noticeable when I’m a lumbering, sweaty tomato, so people usually say hi.

You need some alone time.

blueSee, the nice thing about running is that you don’t have to answer your phone, you don’t have to talk to anyone, and you won’t be distracted by Netflix or internet searches about strange things like phantom limb syndrome or the Cotard delusion. It’s just you and your thoughts. You can think about what you want for dinner, how you should cut your hair, or more philosophical things like pretend conversations or string theory.

You haven’t been to enough parks.

Dude. There are so many parks. Run to them all. Then maybe catch some Pokemon while you’re there.

You have disposable income to use and want to become obsessed with a hobby.

Running is as good as any other things you can become obsessed with. Sure, you can do it pretty cheaply, but you can also develop a racing and athleisure addiction that will take up a nice chunk of your income.

You’re quitting a bad habit and want to replace your vice with an activity.

DUDE! This one works. I quit smoking and needed something to focus on, so I started running. It was terrible/amazing and totally worked for me. It’s a good reason!

You want some medals.

hey a birdYeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone is so quick to criticize millennials for getting trophies for sports even when they didn’t win. I don’t know who got these supposed trophies as kids (my soccer team placed 3rd in the league so we got medals—suck on that!), but I sure do get participation medals as an adult. And guess what? They are awesome and you are jealous. Wear them to the office for your big presentation. Where them around the house when you need to feel like a winner. They’re very versatile!

You need new t-shirts.

I don’t even know how many t-shirts I have. Not just from running! I get them for volunteering, for being on committees, for donating, etc. It’s great! Someday I will have someone make me a t-shirt quilt, and then every night I will sleep happy sleep thinking of all the miles I’ve run.

So there they are. If your Saturday mornings are sadly empty and your wallet is too full of money and your feet look too nice, then it’s time to start running!